See, my ad had been up for just over a week at this point, with no real offers. Sure, a few people in Nigeria said they'd pay me the full amount and have a shipper get my hair, but I'm not a fool. A couple of people wanted more pictures, but nothing came of those, either.Oh, and one guy wanted me to grow my hair out for a full year, and he'd pay me $100 a month to do that before cutting it for him after that year was over. Yeah, no thanks.
Then this guy emails, interested in my hair. He wants to hop on Yahoo messenger and webcam.
Well, I like the idea of having someone interested in my hair whose IP traces to the United States, but ... not the webcam part. So I lie and tell him I don't have a webcam, but I'd gladly get on messenger. I sent this just before I went out to run errands, because I do have a life outside of the internet.
Because it's funnier if I leave all the information as it is, I'll post the conversation, with times. Names obviously removed, but coloured because I like colours:
"Tue, May 15, 2012 at 2:57 PM
i would like to talk to u about ur hair pls leave me a mesage ty
Name: [REDACTED]"
"Tue, May 15, 2012 at 3:15 PM
Hey! :)
I'll do my best to answer any questions you've got. "
I'll do my best to answer any questions you've got. "
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 5:31 AM
i would like to talk to u on yahoo instant messenger if i could and maybe see ur hair on a webcam if i could pls ty "
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 7:54 AM
Unfortunately I don't have a webcam--poor college student, you see; I got the cheapest computer that could get internet possible. The YM would be possible, though."
--Yeah, that's a lie, but would YOU webcam with some random person you don't know, knowing full well that trichophilia is a thing? I didn't think so. After sending this, I went out and ran errands, so I wasn't home. Obviously.
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 7:55 AM
what is ur id on yahoo instant messager pls "
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 8:16 AM
down load instant messenger for yahoo and type in [REDACTED] and u will get me "
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Hey--sorry about not getting right on--I was on my way out the door when I replied to your message. Are you still about? I can get on now."
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 10:21 AM
yes i am here do u have yahoo instant messenger and a webcam "
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Still no webcam. But I've got YM." Because really? I told you that just a few messages ago. I didn't change my mind and go "OH YEAH I TOTES HAVE A WEBCAM NAO!" -.-
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 10:22 AM
what is ur id for yahoo"
"Wed, May 16, 2012 at 10:25 AM
i'm here yahoo is going crazy "Dude, chill. Literally in those three minutes I had gotten on and added him to my messenger, and had sent him a friend request. If you're imagining a creepy naked guy with his bits in hand at this point, you're not alone. Trust me, I was thinking the same thing.
This is where we started chatting on yahoo. I decided I'd lie and say I had finals to get to if he got really creepy, because that's a legitimate out and would mean I could sign off on a moment's notice with the idea that I have to get to class. You'll see, I used my excuse with him. Please note, I lie a lot. Not about my hair or anything--that's all true. But this guy doesn't need anything more out of me.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:24:15 AM): hi
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:24:25 AM): Hi
CWG (5/16/2012 10:26:11 AM): so u have 26 inches to sell
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:26:26 AM): Right.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:26:45 AM): how much would that leave u and where at on u
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:27:30 AM): That would leave me with hair around my shoulderblades. That'll be the shortest I've had hair since I was about 8 years old.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:28:01 AM): would u sell more for more money ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:28:32 AM): It depends on how short, and how much. I'm not really ready for super-short hair, but ... poor college student. You know how it is.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:29:57 AM): hi
CWG (5/16/2012 10:30:02 AM): sorry
CWG (5/16/2012 10:30:24 AM): hello
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:30:33 AM): Hey.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:30:52 AM): what is the shortest u would go
CWG (5/16/2012 10:30:59 AM): like a angled bob cut ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:31:39 AM): I wouldn't want to go that short. I do a lot of things that need my hair out of my face, so I want it long enough to still braid or ponytail.
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:32:05 AM): Plus, I'm really, really lazy, and if it requires any sort of work to keep up the style, I know I won't do it.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:33:28 AM): ok would u do shoulders but would u cut a few snips off the back at the hairline for like a little buzzcuts at the hairline
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:34:37 AM): Not a chance on that. That's actually why I haven't had short hair since I was that little. My mom once got my hair cut that short, all buzzed up in the back, and I hated it so much I refused to get my hair cut until I was old enough to talk to the stylist myself, and even then I just got trims.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:35:12 AM): do u have bangs ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:35:46 AM): No, just some shorter pieces about chin-length to frame my face. It comes back to the hair in my face thing.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:36:13 AM): how much would u want if u did the shoulder cut
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:37:25 AM): I don't know ... $2600? Is that good?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:38:38 AM): if i payed u the 2600 i would want u to do shoulders and 1 snip from the hairline in back for the much money
CWG (5/16/2012 10:40:04 AM): ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:41:02 AM): I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that extra snip--just because then the rest of my hair isn't even, and I'd have to grow it out that much longer to have it all even. The same reason I don't do layers, you know? And how big a snip are we talking?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:42:25 AM): the snip is half as thick as ur little finger and i can tell u where to cut it so no one will know u cut it or see it and if u did not cut it u would not know it was cut
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:43:25 AM): I'd have to think about it. Is that all right?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:43:40 AM): how long would u need ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:44:26 AM): At least until I get home from classes and talk with my mom. I've got a final in about 15 minutes, and after that I'll be going home, so ...
CWG (5/16/2012 10:44:54 AM): u have to cut the snip on a webcam for me to see it ok as u do the snip i send u the mone yright then paypal ok
CWG (5/16/2012 10:45:10 AM): does ur mom have long hair to
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:45:53 AM): My mom's got chin-length hair, and I'll definitely have to ask her if it's on webcam--I'd have to go buy one, since I don't have one, and I have no money to get one myself.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:46:39 AM): would ur mom want t osell some of her hair to ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:47:16 AM): I doubt it. She's always complaining if it's not exactly the right length--she gets it trimmed weekly so it stays in the perfect half-inch length.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:47:55 AM): i would up the money if she would do a few snips of her on the under side
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:48:15 AM): Let me talk to my mom. I'll see her tonight, so I can let you know then.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:48:25 AM): what time ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:48:52 AM): She won't be home from work until about 3, and I've got a club thing until about 3.30. I'll be on after that.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:49:07 AM): what time do u have now
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:49:30 AM): nearly 11am.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:49:58 AM): so u will be home at 4
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:50:11 AM): Give or take a few minutes for traffic, yeah.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:50:33 AM): or would u want to talk about it with her then do it tomorrow ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:51:04 AM): Let me talk to her tonight and let you know what we decide, okay?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:51:33 AM): ok if she says yes would u do the cut i said tomorrow ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:52:22 AM): If she says yes, maybe. But I don't know what she'll say till I speak with her.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:53:00 AM): ok what do u have to cut the snip with if u do it
CWG (5/16/2012 10:53:17 AM): do u have any of ur friends that want to sell there hair to ?
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:53:51 AM): Sewing scissors. And I can ask around. I know a few people are interested, but I don't know how short they'd be willing to go.
CWG (5/16/2012 10:54:20 AM): i would pay u a finder fee of $60 for each one u ask and the ysell some
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:55:16 AM): That would be great! But let me ask them.I see a few in class--which I need to get to. Like I said, final exam, and this professor will lock the door if you're not in the class at the start time.
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:55:27 AM): So I'll talk to you tonight, then?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:55:34 AM): do u have a set of clipper or a shaver ?
CWG (5/16/2012 10:55:41 AM): leave me a message ok
Krissie (5/16/2012 10:55:47 AM): Okay--talk to you later!
CWG (5/16/2012 10:55:53 AM): bye
So yeah ... creepy. Especially the "DO IT TOMORROW M'KAY?" thing. But I have to admit, I was tempted. That's good money, and really, just a little clip from the nape of my neck on webcam isn't that much. So I talked to my mom about it and she had no real problem with it, but I still kind of wanted to think about it a little longer. However, he wasn't on that night when we agreed to meet. So I was like, whatever, I'll talk to him tomorrow about it.
Which would have been fine, except ... well. I don't usually wake up until 7.30 or so, give or take half an hour in either direction.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up to a handful of missed messages on yahoo!
CWG (5/17/2012 5:31:22 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 5:34:45 AM): what did u mom say ?
CWG (5/17/2012 6:13:09 AM): did u ge tto talk to ur mom ?
CWG (5/17/2012 6:23:57 AM): if ur mom will not let u do it let me know ok
CWG (5/17/2012 6:48:54 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 5:34:45 AM): what did u mom say ?
CWG (5/17/2012 6:13:09 AM): did u ge tto talk to ur mom ?
CWG (5/17/2012 6:23:57 AM): if ur mom will not let u do it let me know ok
CWG (5/17/2012 6:48:54 AM): hello
This is where I woke up, turned on my computer, and saw those messages. I was like, screw this, and went downstairs to sit with my parents. Because I can do that if I want to. But he wasn't done.
CWG (5/17/2012 7:37:19 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 7:59:39 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 8:23:32 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 8:24:28 AM): what did ur mom say ?
CWG (5/17/2012 8:26:47 AM): hello
CWG (5/17/2012 8:30:31 AM): do u want to do the deal yes or no ?
CWG (5/17/2012 8:35:00 AM): r u there pls
CWG (5/17/2012 8:35:42 AM): if u do not want to do the deal tell me ok
CWG (5/17/2012 8:36:37 AM): hello ?
CWG (5/17/2012 8:40:08 AM): i guess u r not saying anything so that means no u do not want to do the deal
I came back upstairs about here, and rolled my eyes mightily. WTF, dude. Seriously. IDEK.
Krissie (5/17/2012 9:32:35 AM): Dude, if you're going to be this ... persistent, no, I won't do it. I was downstairs eating breakfast. And at 5 this morning, I was asleep.
CWG (5/17/2012 9:33:21 AM): sorry i did not mean to be
CWG (5/17/2012 9:33:29 AM): it is just today has gone bad
CWG (5/17/2012 9:33:44 AM): and i saw u on and i could not get u ok
Krissie (5/17/2012 9:34:32 AM): You didn't see me on at 5 this morning--and by your time zone, it was probably only like 7 where you are, which means your day went bad ridiculously early.
CWG (5/17/2012 9:35:19 AM): we lost power for all night and then the phone lines were down
Krissie (5/17/2012 9:36:34 AM): I'm still not comfortable with the deal with how overzealous you are. I was going to ask for a little more time to think about it, but you've made up my mind for me. Sorry, but power outages are no excuse.
CWG(5/17/2012 9:37:09 AM): ok sorry if u want to do it ok if not that is ok to ok bye
The end, right? Ha, you're so very wrong.
CWG (5/17/2012 10:58:02 AM): so u will not sel lur hair to me ?
Krissie (5/17/2012 10:58:38 AM): I thought we already covered this. No. I don't feel comfortable doing it.
CWG(5/17/2012 10:58:52 AM): ok bye
So I thought everything was decided. I very clearly said NO repeatedly, and that was that.
Until yesterday. I went to see Battleship with my stepdad (great movie, by the way), and decided to check my email while waiting. Yes, I'm obsessive, but I really want to sell my hair!
"Fri, May 18, 2012 at 10:59 AM
hello when can we do it and did u find a webcam "SERIOUSLY???????
"Fri, May 18, 2012 at 11:17 AM
I already told you I wasn't interested in doing it. I will never do it, even if I had a webcam."
So far I haven't heard back again, but I'm not holding my breath. I'll report him to the site if he doesn't stop, though, because we're bordering on harassment. And I can't block his email, since he's sending these through the site, and if I block the site I won't get ANY of the other interested offers on my hair.
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